British newspaper readership: Times readers run the country

British newspaper readership:
Times readers run the country

'Times readers run the country' is a humorous definition of the best-read British newspapers and their readers. There are numerous versions, but I first saw it in 1981 as:

Times readers run the country,
Telegraph readers think they run the country,
Guardian readers wish they ran the country,
Mirror readers would run the country if the Times readers didn't run it already,
Mail readers don't know who runs the country,
Express readers don't care who runs the country,
and Sun readers don't give a damn who runs the country
as long as her measurements exceed 38-24-36.

This was quoted as an analysis by MPs of the readerships of UK newspapers in a Guardian diary piece in 1981. I kept the Guardian cutting but never heard of it again until a variant was quoted in the TV series Yes, Prime Minister in 1987. There have been many variants (including 'FT readers pay to run the country', 'Mail readers know who should be running the country' and 'Mirror readers will run the country once the revolution comes'), but all agree on Sun readers (though with a cruder last line: 'as long as she's got big tits').